幸福微醺居酒屋

             【攝於花蓮縱谷上的一家粽子店】

Sheena Chang is editor at the China Times. Her daughter of four is having extra courses in English. Sheena is keen on getting her daughter to a national University. These are better then the private universities and even cheaper. This leads to the fact that especially children born from highly educated and rich parents, who can afford the extra courses, can enter the 'better' Universities. The fee is low there and children of the lower class have to pay extra for the 'lesser" Universities.

 Sheena Chang是中國時報的編輯，女兒四歲時已經上英文的課外補習。她希望女兒能讀國立大學。國立比私立大學更好而且更便宜。這導致一個弔詭的現象：特別是受高等教育且較有錢的父母，他們能提供孩子額外的課程學習，讓孩子能進入收費少的「好」大學；而低社會階層的孩子則只好去「壞」的大學。久而久之，自然會加深貧富懸殊與城鄉差距。

Sheena Chang comes with another Taiwan-record: nowhere in the world kids sleep less then in Taiwan. She calls people like her 'pm-people', coming from post meridian. 'I am going to work at 2 pm (14:00) and return at 10 pm (22:00)'. Most people working in the IT business work at night, because their customers in Europe and USA  are then in their daytime. The children of these 'pm-people' stay up till midnight with them: they eat together, watch TV and play computer games. But the kids in contrary to their parents have to get up at 7 am to get to school. 

Sheena Chang還展示了另一個台灣紀錄：根據她的統計，世界上沒有一個地方的孩子睡眠像台灣孩子那麼少。她把自己和與她同樣的人稱為「pm people」。「我從下午兩點開始工作，在晚上十點回家。」大部份資訊科技產業的人在晚間工作，因為這剛好是歐美客戶的白天時間。「pm people」的孩子和他們一起熬到午夜，一起吃東西、看電視、玩電玩。但是和大人們相反地，孩子又必須在早上七點起床。

She tells the story so business-like that I carefully ask if that does not hurt the health of the kids. 'Maybe so', she says, 'but it makes them also stronger. This way it makes them stronger to cope with pressure later. The biggest concern is the grandmothers who spoil the kids. They only stuff them with food, but don't teach them anything.'

她這種不帶情感的客觀陳述，讓我小心地問，這樣不會損害孩子的健康嗎？ 「也許是。」她說，「但這讓孩子有更強的抵抗能力，也能學會處理將來的壓力。最大的問題是，祖母寵壞孩子，她們只餵給食物但不教任何事。」

One evening I meet a psychiatrist in a hot spring spa ( besides visiting karaoke bars one of the favorite free time fun activities for Taiwanese). At 10 pm he says he has to go home to help his daughter with her homework. 'At this hour?' I ask surprised. 'Sure, tomorrow she will have chemistry exam, and I will take over the theory with her once more.' 

某晚我和一位精神科醫生一起泡溫泉（就在卡拉ok旁邊。卡拉ok是台灣人喜歡的娛樂活動之一）。晚上十點時，他說他必須回家去幫女兒複習功課。「在這個時間？」我很驚訝。「當然，明早九點她有化學考試，我得幫她再複習一次。」

A Swiss woman who lived in Taiwan for a long time says: 'the only thing that counts for these people is food and making money. Love and sex are not important. If somebody says 'I love you', then it means nothing, but if he gives you a big piece of his meat then you know you are important for him.'

 一個長時間住在台灣和中國的瑞士女人告訴我：「對這些人來說，重要的是錢和吃，愛與性不重要。如果有人說我愛你，那是沒有意義的。但是如果他給你一塊盤子裡的肉，你就知道，你對他來說很重要。」



The Taiwanese eroticism is not easy to understand. The people are prude; besides the city center of Taipei you hardly see any couples hold their hand or exchange other tender behavior. But at the other hand if you look at the sales girls of betel nuts, they sit in their bikini in a glass box, which you can recognize easy by the green neon-star along side the road. You stop your car, she comes out, bends over in front of the window so you can have a good look at her décolleté, she walks wiggling her bum to the get the order and gives you the nuts with a tempting smile. The euphoric feeling and the sweating that comes after chewing the betel nuts, makes the happiness complete. 

台灣人的情慾是不容易瞭解的，人們不善於表現情感。除了台北市中心之外，很難看得到成雙成對的人手牽手或是交換溫柔情感。但另一方面，卻可以看到檳榔西施穿著比基尼泳裝坐在玻璃櫥窗裡。由於有個綠色心形霓虹燈，所以遠遠就可以認得出來。你停下車，她走出來，彎下身軀面對你打開了的車窗，你可以從她深裁的前襟看到裡面。她踩著高跟鞋，扭動臀部，走回去拿你訂的東西，然後帶著誘惑的微笑遞給你檳榔。嚼檳榔後出汗與暈眩的快感則是完全的快樂。

These nuts cost two times as much when bought from these girls then normal, but especially the taxi and truck drivers don't care to pay the difference. These sales girls are mostly found in the countryside; the mayor of liberal Taipei tries to ban them from the city center. 

這些檳榔西施以雙倍的價錢賣出檳榔，計程車和卡車司機則視為當然。檳榔西施通常散佈在看不到温柔的鄉間，自由台北的市長則試著阻止她們在市中心營業。

Also traditional healers sell their wonder medicines accompanied by sparsely clothed girls. But the most funny is the performance of these 'sexy girls' at weddings and even funerals. You can see a long row of cars and trucks; on one of them is the coffin with the deceased, on another there are the hired mourners, and on a third you see the dancing 'sexy girls'. It seems that the audience, including children, experiences no conflict between the table-dance atmosphere and the mourning about the deceased. 'The surviving dependents pay a lot of money for such performances in order to have a lot of people attend and honor the deceased', so people tell me.

還有，賣傳統中藥的人把情慾當成促銷的工具，同時提供神奇的中藥及「輕裝」的女孩。最讓人驚奇的是，這些「性感女孩」也在婚禮甚至葬禮上出現！那通常是由汽車和卡車組成的車陣，其中一部車上是亡者的棺木，另一部是哭號的女人，在第三部車上，則可以看到跳豔舞的性感女郎。包括孩子們在內的觀眾群，顯然不認為，一場「桌上熱舞」的氣氛與對死者的哀傷有任何衝突。「家屬付許多錢給這樣的表演，才能讓許多人來參加葬禮並懷念亡者。」這是當地人所告訴我的。

By the official prude it is hard for love couples, and even spouses, to find a private space. One of the favorite places to get some intimacy was the MTV, cabins where you can watch movies. But at a certain moment the police intervened, the cabins could not be closed anymore and a guard could at any moment intrude the cabin. So the love couples changed to the parks and the KTV's: buildings with lot of rooms where you can sing karaoke as a couple or as a group. But also here a waiter could enter any time. At least each room has a surprising big closable toilet. Nowadays the motels are doing good business, they are quite cheap, 20 euros for three hours. But there is one disadvantage, they are mostly situated outside the center, so you need a car. 

因著窄小的空間，情侶或甚至是夫妻要有個獨處的地方，並不容易。直到上學年齡，孩子都還和父母親睡在一起。長久以來，MTV是個深受喜愛的，可以私密約會的地方。在包廂中依自己的喜好選擇要看的電影。不知從什麼時候開始有了檢查制度，包廂不再可以關門，檢查人員隨時可以進入，所以情侶改到公園或KTV。KTV是有許多房間的建築，情侶或是親朋好友可在裡面唱卡拉OK，也可以點飲食，但是服務人員依然可以隨時進來。不過每個包廂中又有一個引人注意的，很大，且可以上鎖的洗手間。人們對Motel的需求已有好一段時間，可以相當便宜地在那裡築起愛之巢，三小時約二十歐元。缺點是離市中心較遠，需要自己有車。

It's easier to find a nice restaurant. In Taipei there are thousands of food facilities. Even on the top of the chimney of the garbage burning installation you can find a rotating restaurant, called 'star tower'. 

相較之下，要找個好的餐廳就容易得多了。在飲食方面，台北有著地理上的優勢。日本、中國、韓國、泰國、美國、歐洲及台灣原住民的菜餚錯綜交織。台北有無數個餐館，甚至於焚化爐煙囪頂端都還有旋轉餐廳，叫做『摘星樓』。

Apparently there is a close relation between food and sex according to the Taiwanese. Continuously you hear what good the different dishes will do for, in general, men. Especially local dishes like: cow eyes, bee larvae, swallow nests (the spittle of birds), grasshoppers, dried elk penis, shark fin, sea cucumber, mushrooms, dried human afterbirth, unborn chicken from the egg (raw), ginseng, bear bone, duck tongue, sea horse, but above all snake. On the Huaxi night market a market salesman hangs a still living snake on a rope and cuts it open in full length, he catches the blood in a glass and offers the audience to have a taste. After that he also removes the gall bladder and squeezes it out in a glass. The gel slimy substance is said to work extensively on the libido, as the salesman demonstrates by moving up and down chopsticks between his legs. 

對台灣人而言，食物與性之間顯然有某種緊密的關係。每上兩道菜就可以聽到，「這是特別對男人重要的食物」。這些地方上的珍饈，包括牛眼、幼蜂、燕窩、炸蟋蟀、鹿鞭、魚翅、海參、香菇、胎盤、未孵化的生雞蛋、人蔘、熊掌、鴨舌、海馬、尤其是蛇。週末在華西街夜市可以大開眼界：一條掛在繩子上面活生生的蛇，被人完整地將皮剝下來，滴在杯中的蛇血則提供觀眾品嚐。然後殺蛇人也取出蛇膽，把膽汁擠入杯中，黏黏軟軟的膠狀物據說很健康，能提高性慾；宰蛇的人還用筷子在他兩腿間清楚地示範。在他後面是些老饕就著露營的小桌子，正在喝蛇湯、龜湯。

The women however will not get happier by it. 

不過女人並不因此而快樂。

For instance take Chang Mei-Ling. She is in her mid thirties, studied French litterature and works for a French company. She is single. Everything that would be in man's favor is in her disadvantage, a good education, good job, high income, all in her disadvantage. And besides that she is taller then average. A man in Taiwan wants to be better educated then his wife, have a better income, and to be at least one head taller. She herself would like to have a husband like that. But there are not many that will meet these criteria, besides the fact that she has hardly time for a relation. 

Chang Mei-Ling，三十多歲，單身，讀羅馬語言學系並在法商公司工作。她說，高教育、好職業、高所得等等在男人身上加分的條件，在她卻成了減分；此外她也長得相當高。但是台灣男人要教育程度比太太高，收入比太太高，而且也要比太太高過一個頭。她自己或許也同樣這麼希望。而能夠符合這些條件的少數人往往有許多工作，所以沒時間去找另一半。